No-conflict workplace won't resolve problems. Anger goes underground when it's avoided

     

Dealing with conflict in corporate America is a problem of extremes.  Ineffective leaders either use confrontation and bullying as weapons to beat employees down, or they mandate conflict-free zones.  Both extremes suppress effective disagreement, drive opposition underground and create toxic environments. To read the rest of this article from the New Mexico Business Weekly, see: No-conflict workplace won't resolve problems:  Anger goes underground when it's avoided

http://albuquerque.bizjournals.com/albuquerque/stories/2003/09/01/smallb3.html

While bullying bosses are recognized problems, the cancerous effects of no-conflict zones usually fester unnoticed until they metastasize. In the quest to be respectful of people’s feelings, ineffective leaders have covered up problems or rushed to easy, token resolutions.  They have abandoned the most effective tools for creating innovation and improvement - challenge and opposition that promotes creativity and brings out the best efforts of worthy staff.  Conflict-avoidant managers cannot be effective leaders.

The problem is not disagreement; the problem is escalation – in either direction. The challenge for leaders is to find the sweet spot between the extremes.  The key to success is the fundamental agreement to use the opposing forces for the common good while preventing escalation.

One organization I worked with had decreed there would be no emotional responses or disagreement. Everyone was required to be calm, sweet, kind and reasonable in public.  Disagreement was hidden behind closed doors and, even then, had to be circumspect and cloaked in appreciation and praise.  There were very strict communication formulas, ostensibly so no one’s feelings would ever be hurt.  Not only were sticks and stones forbidden, but also honest words.

Typical of such poisonous situations, overt channels of responsibility, authority and accountability had become shams. A small clique of the most difficult and manipulative people used their hypersensitivity to control the organization behind the scenes.  The best games-players intrigued to make decisions in their own best interests.  Quality employees started leaving.

Apposition is a better word than opposition to describe passionate disagreement that promotes the greater good. Your opposable thumb and forefinger often appose by pushing against each other hard so you can pick up your pencil and get to work.  Apposition creates opportunity and promotes success.

If disagreement has been suppressed, the initial steps in transforming a toxic culture will seethe with emotion. Pay the price and move through the flare up.

You don’t need to initiate angry confrontations in order to be clear and firm about standards of productivity, quality or behavior.  But if the other person wants to start a fight or throw a fit, effective leaders learn to deal with emotionally charged interactions rapidly and effectively.

Conflict is nothing to be afraid of - appreciate and respect worthy opponents who bring out the best in both of you.

The best leaders seek areas of disagreement and challenge. Emotion, challenge and disagreement power the engine of leadership.  To drive success, moderate and direct that fuel appropriately.

Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement a plan that fits the situation.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Don’t Tolerate "Stars" Who Bully at Work

Nobody likes a bully.  But imagine that your best salesman is a bully.  You’re faced with a dilemma that may make you hesitate.  Heroism and skill will be required to maintain standards. To read the rest of this article from the Cincinnati Business Courier, see: Don’t Tolerate “Stars” Who Bully at Work

http://cincinnati.bizjournals.com/cincinnati/stories/2003/04/07/smallb3.html

Even if the bullying is flagrant and public, you might think twice before risking a major revenue stream confronting that person.

Even worse, if bullying is more subtle and private – like a bully “sales star “ cuts others out of their share of a sale; undermines other sales people; verbally intimidates and abuses support staff - you may be tempted to hesitate and ignore the initial rumors.

A prevalent assumption in our society is that the first time you hear about a problem, you should minimize it, give people the benefit of the doubt and hope it goes away by itself.  That assumption is wrong.

See the original article for details.

• Don’t let an untreated splinter lead to gangrene or a bullying problem fester. For every incident you hear about, there are usually five that haven’t reached you.  This is just the first time the bully was exposed.
• Respond to such incidents immediately. Look for patterns of behavior, try to find witnesses to the incident or people who have been bullied separately.
• Bullying patterns of behavior test everyone’s courage and skill, especially the leadership team. Set the standards by biting the bullet rapidly with bullying sales stars.
• Usually, the abuse builds to a crescendo, but then subsides temporarily - so you give it more time. Eventually, you’ll spend so much time focusing on repeated incidents, you’ll be exhausted. That is a tip-off:  The “cancer” has spread too far.
• After you act, you’ll be amazed at what surfaces. You’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg.  Over the next two to three months, you’ll hear many more stories of bullying and hear many sighs of relief.”
• Even though the leadership team is insulated from the worst of the pain, you have to lead the way in demanding civil behavior as well as productivity. You’re just following common sense.
• Test sales managers. It’s easy to talk theories, but decisions can get more difficult for a sales manager when facing a bullying star might mean unmet quotas, lost personal bonuses and more time and money training replacements. The longer managers cover things up or let situations go unresolved, the more credibility and influence they lose.  They look like enablers or collaborators. Eventually they will have to leave - along with the bully they’ve coddled and protected.
• Test the support staff manager and the “abused” individual. Courage is required to blow the whistle, since leaders usually favor sales stars.  Don’t throw fits; gather facts and document evidence of patterns.

You can’t precisely measure the negative effects of bullying on everyone’s productivity, but every time you remove one of those thorns, the benefits will be dramatic.

Even if sales take a temporary hit, morale and productivity will increase across the board. Company revenues will shortly overcome the loss of that particular bully’s sales.

Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement a plan that fits the situation.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Team Agreements Keep Companies Healthy

Vision and goals are the heart and mind of your company.  Teamwork is the engine that drives physical performance - products, service, productivity, costs, pricing and marketing.

Your company can’t guarantee successful, integrated performance - but if you don’t provide organizational leadership that coordinates effort, you do guarantee failure.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Team Agreements Keep Companies Healthy
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1997/06/16/smallb5.html

The structure and the teamwork guidelines must enable employees to work more effectively and efficiently. Guidelines, flexible enough to accommodate to changing situations and to benefit from creativity and different styles, take precedence over individual preferences.

To maintain consistent performance, the following agreements must be honored, from the CEO to the lowest supervisor and employee:

• Stand-up clearly, directly, matter-of-factly and firmly for the company standards and teamwork guidelines.  Take sides with the standards, not the personalities.
  
• Hold everyone accountable for great teamwork and human skills, as well as technical competency.  Teamwork can’t be maintained when top leaders loot the company or when employees can use threats of lawsuits to blackmail the company into violating its standards.
  
• Hire, train, encourage, demand, evaluate, and reward good will and good cheer.  Have consequences for ill will, laziness, etc.

Someone unhappy with these agreements can try to change them according to your policies and procedures or he/she can leave.  Someone generally unhappy with life cannot be allowed to infect the whole company.  A healthy body must isolate or remove foreign objects.

Chain of command and chain of communication aren’t enough.  You need specific guidelines for proactive teamwork policies and procedures.  There is no “perfect” set. Some of my favorite ones are: - see original article.

In order to have a coordinated and well-functioning corporate body capable of obtaining the success you envision, you must provide an appropriate structure, an integrated system, effective nutrition, and consistent training.  Teamwork keeps the body healthy, and aligns effort.

The best way to develop team agreements for professional behavior that will stop harassment, negativity and bullying is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an effective plan that eliminates the high cost of your low attitudes.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Drive a Stake into the Hearts of Work "Vampires"

I consulted with someone who was slowly being sucked dry by work “Vampires”.  She felt too drained and fatigued to produce what she needed to.  She spent too much time off-track listening to “soap operas” or helping people do their jobs.  She tried to help others to settle their conflicts only to find herself in the middle and being blamed by everyone.  She took everything to heart and tried to make everyone happy.  She thought that the most important thing was not to hurt anyone’s feelings.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Drive a Stake Into the Hearts of Work "Vampires"
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1997/10/13/smallb3.html

• Let’s focus here on the attitudes and some action plans she now uses.
  Attitudes always come first.
  
• She responds to the warning signs she previously ignored: where vampires lurk, what they use for cover, and how they catch people unawares.
  She is committed to saying, “No” when it’s appropriate.  She reaches “burn-out” with people who continue to take without giving back.
  
• She learned how to say, “No” by observing, asking good teachers how they do it, and practicing (trial and course-correction).
  
• She identifies the warning signs she previously ignored: where vampires lurk, what they use for cover, and how they catch people unawares.
  
• She puts responsibilities where they belong and she doesn’t get caught in the middle of other people’s problems.
  
• She needs good solid blocks of time to do her own tasks. She demands them and preserves them. That’s her first priority.

And if she ever again feels drained and fatigued after interacting with someone, she just has to get the garlic and stakes - check her attitudes, develop a strategy, gather her resources (determination, perseverance, resilience, flexibility, humor), use her skills, and take appropriate action.

The best way to learn how to protect and defend yourself, and to set high standards is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

"Masters of Change" sets leadership standard

Most business books aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.  But once in a while a business book has the potential to change the course of individual lives and therefore, the life of a society.  These are usually not books on “how to” do business; they are books on “who” you can be when you do your business.  These books alter how you think about your business in relation to the larger arena of your whole life.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
“Masters of Change” sets leadership standard

ttp://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1997/11/10/smallb7.html

“Masters of Change,” by Dr. William M. Boast with Benjamin Martin, (Maracome Press, $14.95) is such a book.  Dr. Boast was well known on the speaking circuit, having spent years clarifying his message to the likes of IBM and Motorola.  Mr. Martin is Director of Special Projects at Mentis Technology Solutions.  The book is a pleasure to read; it captures Dr. Boast’s voice as if he was with you, speaking richly, deeply, directly and straight-forwardly.

This book is the first completely human and thoroughly pragmatic approach to leadership in a world of massive and sudden change.  Its conclusions are not justified by a set of preexisting moral principles taken on faith, but are based on a careful study of a hundreds of leaders who succeeded or failed in handling change.  The authors have extracted universal qualities, guiding principles and attitudes of masterful leaders.

“Masters of Change” focuses on leaders being their best when things are at their worst.  Like these masters, you need appropriate drive, determination, perseverance, resilience, stubbornness and flexibility so you can act effectively, intelligently and responsibly.

The book is loaded with stories and quotes that will reverberate within you for decades.  Its historical sweep and meticulous detail make it a challenging and inspiring work. It will become the foundation for the next generation of leadership thinking.
 
Start your Christmas shopping now.  Buy a case of Masters of Change and give copies to your friends and colleagues.

The best way to learn how to deal with change, especially for mature people caught in rapidly changing industries and professions, is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Bullies destroy codes of professional conduct

Effective teamwork stands on four legs - all are necessary.

• Tasks must be clearly defined.
  
• Roles, abilities and resources must be appropriate for achieving desired results.
  
• Good people must individually do their share and work together effectively to overcome style differences.
  
• Codes of professional conduct must be set high enough and must be defended.

Bullies destroy the third and fourth legs.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Bullies destroy codes of professional conduct

http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1997/12/15/smallb4.html

While team leaders frequently violate standards by flagrant favoritism, nepotism and misuse of power, more frequently, I see teamwork breaking down when individual team members are allowed to continue violating team codes of professional conduct.

Caring and support do not mean catering to someone’s whims or to the most infantile or selfish behavior of any individual.  You can stretch yourself in order to help someone, but there is always a breaking point beyond which productivity suffers.  The most caring and supportive strategy is to inspire people and hold them accountable to live up to professional conduct and standards.

Whatever pious or soaring phrases are in mission statements and codes of conduct, the reality of organizational culture is clarified during an employee’s probationary period.  On-going, accurate and honest evaluation and feedback are necessary to defend that code.  Daily examples are needed in which a   new employee is held accountable for behavior and performance.  Managers must create precedents by documenting an employee’s willingness and ability to meet expectations.

Your work team is not a therapeutic environment and is usually not your family.  In a therapeutic environment or a family, maintenance of relationships may take precedence over tasks.  You may tolerate destructive behavior in order to maintain connection.

In your work team, however, tasks take precedence over relationship.  Camaraderie serves tasks; relationships may last 30 years or only until the task is done.

Senior managers, team leaders and individual team members each have 100% of the responsibility, authority and accountability for defending the code of conduct that protects them.  If this support to teamwork breaks, both relationships and productivity fall.

The best way to learn how to set high standards and retain your best people is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Maintain Standards to Retain the Best Employees

An effective strategy to find and keep the best employees at every level of your company requires that you avoid desperation and be clear about what you want, how to recognize these people and what it takes to make them and your company outstanding.  Don’t settle for harassment or bullying; for laziness or mediocrity.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Maintain Standards to Retain the Best Employees
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1998/02/16/smallb4.html

The most important factor for retaining the best employees is providing quality coworkers in a supportive atmosphere.

Know what you want and search until you find it.

• Seek work ethic and desire - drive, dedication, endurance and eagerness to succeed.
• Examine technical skills that fit the specific tasks.
• Select personal styles that fit and complement specific tasks and teams.
• Use probationary periods effectively.
• Demand the willingness to defend your culture - your standards, expectations and codes of conduct and communication.
• Keep workers who take personal responsibility for success.  Demand what’s required for success.  Provide what’s needed for success.  Reward success.  Replace employees who don’t produce success.

You can tolerate some initial mistakes from a dedicated person; don’t tolerate mistakes from a person who is lackadaisical.  Don’t give people a license to fail.  To keep the best people, give them personal rewards, surround them with competent coworkers and demand their best.

The best way to learn how to set high standards and retain your best people is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

How to Supervise Adults When They Act Like Children

If employee conflict often makes you feel like an adult trying to manage difficult children, you’ve hit on the most effective approach for dealing with these behaviors - take charge and give these difficult adults consequences and incentives to grow up and develop adult strategies.

To read the rest of this article from the New Mexico Business Weekly, see:
How to Supervise Adults When They Act Like Children
http://albuquerque.bizjournals.com/albuquerque/stories/2002/12/02/smallb3.html

We all recognize childhood behaviors like avoiding responsibility, empty promises and blaming; possessiveness, jealousy and constant controlling; forming catty cliques or swaggering gangs; attention seeking, disruption and resistance; insensitivity to the feelings of others; fear, dependence and helplessness; threatening to hurt themselves or embarrass us.  We also label types like spoiled princes and princesses; picture-perfect little professors; martyrs, pouters, sulkers; people-pleasers; petty tyrants.

Bullies (harassers and abusers), victims and rescuers try to force others into complementary roles in their triangle.  Don’t get sucked into this Bermuda triangle.

Don’t let temper tantrums - exploding in anger, withdrawing in hurt or giving a very loud “silent treatment” - control your team.  Train employees not to expect bribes or rewards to keep them from acting out in public.  While they’re in “time out”, continue decision-making and group process.

In adults, child-like behaviors are habitual reactions to hurt and fear - maintained by ignorance of more effective strategies.  Self-protection and personal agendas become more important than co-workers or productivity.

Some general guidelines and strategies

• Effective authority depends on your willingness to replace out-of-control employees.
  
• Don’t try to appease these employees; their desires are infinite and unquenchable.  Your job is not therapy; your job is maintaining goals, quotas, productivity and behavioral standards.
  
• Difficult employees hope to justify their outbursts by finding situations in which they’re wronged.  Separate the child-like behavioral patterns from the content of the situation and deal with both.
  
• Determine who responds to an encouraging coach or mentor and under what circumstances; who responds to a firm taskmaster; who you can reach one-to-one; who responds to public exposure.
  
• Notice which employees seem to push every boundary you set, thwart every approach you make and blame their problems on your communication style.

Ultimately, these employees are 100% responsible for themselves.  If they don’t grow-up rapidly, you can’t afford to waste your time.  You’re much more productive when you’re working with “A” and “B” students eager for success, not personal victories.

The best way to learn effective leadership skills is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Recognize and Resist the First Signs of Mutiny

We can resist enemies we can recognize and name.  We've made progress fighting identified inequities based on race, ethnic origin, religion, gender, etc.  The battles are far from over, but they have been joined and society's voice is clear

Recently, I've been coaching increasing numbers of leaders who have failed to recognize mutiny and, therefore, have not effectively defended themselves and their missions.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Recognize and Resist the First Signs of Mutiny
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1998/04/13/smallb6.html

These leaders are being told that

• Taking charge is morally reprehensible elitism.
• Setting high standards and quotas, requiring professionalism, holding people accountable and not accepting excuses is too threatening.
• A hierarchical structure and promotion based on merit is dictatorial.
• Seeking success is selfish, undemocratic and damaging to themselves and their families.

The leaders I've coached are intense, hard-working, demanding and focused on success; they're not arrogant or abusive.  But they are being told that there's something anti-social about their drive, standards and styles.

The primary purpose of leaders is not to be sweet; it's to get somewhere, to produce great results.  The primary function of leaders is alignment of their own effort and the efforts of others.

Recognize mutiny in people who do not accept your authority, goals and standards and criticize you when you judge performance, hold people accountable, insist on personal responsibility, and don’t accept excuses or forgive temper tantrums.  Recognize mutiny in people who use harassment, bullying and abuse.

These mutineers usually blame your style for their failure.  Style is not more important than results.  Results determine which style is appropriate.

If you're an employee told by other employees not to work so hard or produce so much, recognize that you're being lured into mutiny against your company and yourself.

If you're an employee with leadership drive and capability, don't stay where you're brutalized.  Go where your talents are appreciated and you can flourish.

Leaders must be fanatics, demanding tremendous energy and effort, and rewarding go-getters. Leading is a great act of courage and daring.  Don't let the enemies of that creative fire get away with mutiny.

The best way to overcome your hesitation and to learn effective leadership skills is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

How to Stop Bullying in the Workplace - Videos

I’ve posted two new videos on YouTube about how to stop bullying in the workplace.
1. How to Stop Bullying at Work | Signs of Overt Bullying in the Workplace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76YfNwlV2OM

2. How to Stop Bullying at Work: Signs of Sneaky Bullying
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqRnAhMPEKQ

The best way to overcome your hesitation and to learn effective leadership skills is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

You Don’t Have to Bully to Evaluate Honestly

Effective supervisors know that the life-blood of any company is feedback and criticism.  While both can lead to corrective action and termination, the idea is to improve attitude and performance.

You don’t have to be arrogant or a tyrant or bully to be effective.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
You Don’t Have to Bully to Evaluate Honestly
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1998/05/18/smallb4.html

Although some supervisors want to improve their skills and update their approach to fit new coaching and team-work paradigms, too many hesitate, thus encouraging destructive situations.  The bottom line: your team needs performance and your job is to guide the current employee or make room for someone new to produce what you need.

Feedback, even reprimand, is kinder than avoidance.  Evaluating is, in itself, success.

Magical thinking - hoping people will straighten out by themselves - doesn’t work and leaves you knowing that you’re afraid to do your job.

Generally the nicest, kindest and most caring act you, as a supervisor, can make is to provide feedback that gives employees a chance to improve in the areas where they, and you, will be judged.  Everyone needs to know the rules of the game.

Establish an environment of open give-and-take.

• Review often.  Give feedback rapidly, accurately, specifically, tactfully, firmly, legally and considerately.
• Take care of your own mental and emotional state and prepare your agenda in writing ahead of time.
• Don’t be off-handed.  Don’t be personal, sarcastic or manipulative.  Focus on behavior, not on name-calling or hallucinations about intentions.
• Begin the evaluation by listing goals accomplished, progress made, special commendations.  Give clear, specific examples of what you think happened and what’s not acceptable.
• Deal with things one at a time.  Distinguish excuses and justifications from analysis of processes that can be improved.

Ultimately, you know you must bite the bullet and honestly evaluate performance.  You’re not supposed to let things slide or make yourself a martyr by doing an employee’s job as well as your own or stab employees in the back by not evaluating them honestly.

The sooner you supervise effectively, the better the chances for success and the better you’ll feel.  That’s especially important for employees on probation where “an ounce of prevention will be worth pounds of flesh’ later.  You don’t have to be arrogant or a tyrant or bully to be effective.

The best way to overcome your hesitation and to learn effective evaluation skills is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

How to Stop Bullying at Work by Temper-Tantrum Bosses

Some bosses habitually manage by temper tantrum, as if they think throwing fits is the best way to maintain authority or increase productivity.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
How to Stop Bullying at Work by Temper-Tantrum Bosses
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1998/06/15/smallb4.html

Don’t put up with on-going harassment, bullying and abuse.  Take effective action.

• Don’t be a martyr.
•  Don’t explode.
• Don’t repress anger.
• Don’t try to relieve the pressure by negativity.

Here are some good choices for dealing with temper-tantrums.

• Put up with it until retirement.
• Fight it strategically.  Prepare to endure a long struggle.  Use the procedures and options your company has.  Make sure that coworkers see, hear and document outbursts.  Accept that there is usually a price for blowing the whistle.
• Go be happy somewhere else.  The boss probably wants you to think that you’re so pathetic and the market is so tight, you have no other options.  Go out in style and with a safety net.  If there’s a pattern of high turnover in that boss’ unit, point out the cost of his tantrums.

If you have a lifelong pattern of tantrum-throwing bosses and/or personal relationships, do some soul searching. You probably have old, self-sabotaging beliefs and strategies.

Insist on what you want; you’ll get what you’re willing to tolerate.

If you’re a temper tantrum boss, grow up.  If you think tantrums are the only way to manage, you’re suffering from a lack of vision and creativity.  Learn to manage and exert appropriate authority humanely.

If you think that someone is forcing you to act against your will, test the assumption.  Don’t remain in an environment where fits of rage are required of you; go where you can be successful while acting decently.

Of course, there are employees who won’t respond until you get in their faces.  You still don’t have to stamp your feet and act out.  Don’t keep employees who respond only to temper tantrums.

Master yourself and stand up for your values.

The best way to stop terminally resistant, controlling, toxic, bullying employees and managers who destroy teamwork and productivity is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

How to stop bullying at work: Respond immediately to the early warning signs

The greatest loss of a company’s vital strength is usually the continual loss of productivity caused by poor performers and “rotten apples” – people with low attitudes and negative, bullying, abusive, destructive behavior.  Often, this steady draining is overlooked as a background fixture because it doesn’t show up on one specific budget line

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
How to stop bullying at work: Respond immediately to the early warning signs
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1998/10/12/smallb4.html

Don’t look the other way because you’re too busy or worry that it will be too difficult to remove a troublesome employee or question your own judgment or fear that replacement people will be too hard to find or too costly.  These excuses aren’t sufficient compared to the hidden costs in low morale and productivity, and high sick leave and turnover.  Generally, 95% of your people-problem time will be spent on problems caused by 5% of your people.  Despite wishful thinking, infections don’t heal by themselves.

You don’t have to be a therapist to see the early warning signs.  You do have to be savvy enough to understand the value of lancing an infection before you need transfusions or of antibiotics before gangrene sets in.  Respond rapidly to the early warning signs in order to isolate the plague carriers from the employees who can elevate their productivity in response to caring, feedback and training.

Learn to stop harassment, bullying and abuse in its initial stages by responding swiftly and effectively to early warning signs.

Some early warning signs (see original article for details).  Beware of people who:

• Proudly express negativity, envy, blame, excuses, self-righteousness and name tags like, “professional critic”; who don’t listen to or value your concerns or who don’t understand why other people do what they do.
• Continually push the boundaries and limitations; say they’re entitled to whatever they want; insist that you bend or justify the rules; up-level demands as soon as you give in; jump to conclusions; take things personally or think in all-or-none terms; refuse to accept appropriate responsibility to produce until you make conditions absolutely perfect for them according to their standards.
• Disrespect coworker’s rights or privacy; sarcastically criticize others in public or in private; refuse to praise or reward when appropriate; take all the credit but not a share of the responsibility; resist legitimate authority and accountability.
• Have no heroes or mentors.

Teach yourself to recognize and document problems while they’re still molehills.  Notice when you repeatedly avoid or appease employees because it’s distasteful to deal with them or when you feel drained just thinking about them.  Pay attention to which workers you mentally carry like monkeys on your back.  Be aware of whose slack always needs picked up by others.

Begin feedback and corrective action on day-one of probation.  Act as if the chances of getting sued by rotten apples increases by 1% each day you let them stay without documenting their behavior.

Your best safeguards are continual evaluation, documentation and determined willingness to treat problems immediately, before the infection spreads.

Employees should scrutinize bosses using the same criteria.

The best way to stop terminally resistant, controlling, toxic, bullying employees and managers who destroy teamwork and productivity is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

How to Stop Terminally Resistant Bullies at Work

 Most of you spent 95% of your people-problem time working with 5% of your employees - the “Terminally Resistant” bullies who will not meet the standards no matter what you do to help them.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
How to Stop Terminally Resistant Bullies at Work
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1999/02/15/smallb5.html

We’re not talking about employees who will respond to encouragement and exhortation, rewards and consequences, or people who are difficult to supervise but who will make progress when you’re clear, not-personal and specify measurable steps and timelines in your feedback.  We’re not even talking about boundary pushers who waste your time and energy keeping your guard up but who may eventually perform.

We are talking about the people who will fight to the death to have control of making and interpreting the rules.  They won’t accept any other authority in their little ponds; they demand unconditional support and subservience from everyone.

You recognize them – these bullies have black belts in resistance and will block every move you make.

• They’re the righteous guardians of how things “should” be and you’re “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
• When you don’t do it their way, no matter how small your mistake, they feel justified in retaliating, harassing or bullying you in any way they want because, “You deserve it and it serves you right.”
• They insist that their difficulties are always acceptable excuses for their lack of performance.
• It’s your fault because you hurt their feelings (your feelings don’t count).  Therefore, you have all the responsibility to apologize and make things acceptable to them - according to their rules.
  You have to make it perfect for them before you can hold them accountable – and you can never be perfect enough.
• They are never satisfied.  They expect every favor even if they didn’t do the work to make them deserving.

These narcissistic, abusive bullies will not change in your work-lifetime.
Like infected splinters, the only way to deal with these terminally resistant bullies is to remove them.  Follow the law and company codes – demand professional behavior, professional communication and high standards of performance.

Unfortunately you may not have the authority to remove a terminally resistant employee.  You may have one for a coworker or supervisor or you may work for an organization which has a culture that puts compassion for the bully before compassion for all those who must deal with him/her or before the necessary performance standards.

If your company harbors a Human Resources Department that always blames managers, never employees, for employee dissatisfaction, you may have to get HR to supervise the resistant employee.

It’s a matter of conscience about trying to off-load the resistant employee to another unsuspecting supervisor (which is often how you got that person to begin with) or to a supervisor who loves these challenges.

If you have no authority, common strategies are to protect yourself, wait it out, look for a “smoking gun”, risk bringing it up with higher authorities or transfer within the company.

If no higher authority cares or the company rewards whistle blowers with ostracism or firing, find another company.  Why leave yourself exposed to a source of infection that will ultimately poison your environment and your life?

The best way to stop terminally resistant, controlling, bullying employees and managers who destroy teamwork and productivity is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Stop Bullying and other Surefire Methods for Undermining Teamwork

Some managers, even experienced ones, have mastered methods that destroy teamwork.  They may think they’re doing what they’re supposed to or what worked to get them promoted, so they’re surprised when the effects are disastrous.

Are you practicing these techniques?

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Stop Bullying and other Surefire Methods for Undermining Teamwork http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1999/04/19/smallb5.html

Bullying and other Surefire Methods for Undermining Teamwork,

1. Be concerned most with your power and prestige.  Take credit for all successes, regularly sabotage or throw your people to the wolves.  Insist on flattery, play favorites and replace the “Golden Boy/Girl” often.
2. Practice bullying.  Expect failure, be demanding, disappointed, defensive and difficult, take everything personally, make personal attacks, throw tantrums, never apologize or do so only with cheap treats.
3. Create chaos.  Be moody, changeable, indecisive, unfair, make decisions for no apparent reason, give contradictory orders, change priorities often but don’t tell anyone.  Withhold approval, scatter employees’ efforts, assign tasks that emphasize their dislikes and weaknesses.
4. Keep employees in the dark.  Have everything go through you, expect people to read your mind, tell each worker a different story, don’t define appropriate responsibility, authority and accountability procedures, assign responsibility without authority or resources.
5. Create suspicion, distrust and fear.  Encourage employees to disparage each other and their superiors, broadcast their comments, run them down behind their backs, complain about them to your superiors, reveal confidential material, stimulate gossip, make some up yourself, focus on personal attacks not problem-solving.  Be negative.  Reward passive-aggressive behavior.
6. Lower standards.  Assume all employees are incompetent, micromanage, pay attention only to unimportant details, reward non-productive employees first, overload your most productive people.
7. Waste employees’ time.  Tell rambling personal stories just before deadlines, harangue about religion and politics, invent busy work, emphasize cover-your-butt activities.
8. Be cold, indifferent and ignore feelings.  Demand “professionalism” but never say, “Please” or “Thank you.”
9. Be unavailable.  Don’t listen to suggestions or complaints.  Use meeting time for personal calls or grooming.
10. Be a martyr.  Never delegate, do everything yourself, blame employees for not volunteering or appreciating you.
11. Don’t praise.  Always find fault with something, focus on what’s undone or not perfect, thwart efforts to do a good job, ridicule training, block advancement.
12. Put stockholders before customers or employees.  Be greedy, loot company assets.

You’re being successful when morale and productivity plummet, and stress, anger, fights, pilfering, absenteeism, personal and sick leave and turnover increase. Enjoy!

The best way to stop controlling, bullying employees and managers who destroy teamwork and productivity is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and organizational consulting.

Design and implement an anti-bullying plan that eliminates the high cost of low attitudes in your workplace.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

How to Stop Harassment, Abuse and Bullying in the Workplace: Winning Work-Wars

Sometimes, you make or find yourself in a war at work.

When it’s against a competitor it’s usually easy to see what you need to do - gather your forces, and fight to win.

But when it’s against someone in your organization, many people don’t recognize that it’s a battle to the death and they don’t rally themselves appropriately.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
How to Stop Harassment, Abuse and Bullying in the Workplace: Winning Work-Wars
http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/1999/12/13/smallb5.html

Internal work-wars are waged in many situations:

• Someone hates you even though you didn’t do anything to them; someone wants turf or power over you.
• Supervisors, teams or coworkers persecute a designated scapegoat.
• Two people competing for only one position; someone intending to claw their way to the top over your corpse.
• Partners separating; hostile transfers or takeovers; supervisors or companies wanting power or rid of you.
• Family businesses destroyed by family feuds.

You know it’s war when you’ve tried every win/win approach you can think of but the other person thinks it’s still your fault and the only option you’re offered is unconditional surrender.

Of course, battles to stop bullies are not confined to the workplace.  The same types of wars happen between couples, between siblings or in extended families, or among friends or neighbors.

Some clues that you’re fighting for your life:

• Negativity, harassment and bullying are directed at you; rumors and lies are spread behind your back.
• Promises are made but later denied; important memos or files disappear.
• A new employee or supervisor criticizes you no matter what you do; the other person is willing to destroy everything just to avoid giving you anything (as in the movie, “The War of the Roses”).
• You have to do all the appeasing or changing because the others are so stubborn and difficult that no one expects them to give anything.

Your choices.

• Wish it would go away; continue to plead for a win/win solution; moan and complain endlessly (after all, it really is not fair); obsess on why it’s happening to you or on the injustices of capitalism.
• Throw fits, threaten violence.
• Run away.
• Fight a tactical and successful war.

Usually, the only productive pathways are leaving under the best terms you can or fighting to win.

Rules for fighting and winning these work-wars (see the original article for details):

1. Get it.  The sooner you recognize your situation, the sooner you can mobilize yourself effectively.  The longer you live in illusions driven by hopes, fears and unrealistic beliefs – if you’re nice enough people will like you and be fair to you and help you - the more mistakes you’ll make, the more you’ll give away, the weaker you’ll make your position.
2. If you lose your head, you’ll lose your head.  If you throw fits, threaten violence or start reacting without an effective plan, you’ll sabotage yourself.
3. Victory often goes to the most determined and disciplined.
4. Get the best armor and weapons.
5. Know thy enemy.
6. Divide and conquer.
7. Finish the war – no truces.

Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement an anti-bullying plan that fits the situation at work.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Be an Electromagnetic Leader: Repel Bullies and Slackers, Attract Great Performers

I use the image of an electromagnet to describe the best leaders in the workplace.  What are the properties of an electromagnet?

1. The more energy we put into it, the stronger the magnetic field to align al the other electromagnets.
2. Like all magnets, some other electromagnets will be repelled – people with low attitudes (bullies, whiners, narcissists) and/or poor productivity (slackers).
3. Like all magnets, some other electromagnets will be attracted – great people (go-getters with high energy, wonderful attitudes and high productivity).

Now, what does that mean and how to put it into effect?

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see:
Be an Electromagnetic Leader: Repel Bullies and Slackers, Attract Great Performers http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/2000/01/17/smallb5.html

“Electromagnetic Leadership” rallies, aligns and focuses your own energy and the efforts of all the people around you

Why “Electromagnetic?”  We’re all like electromagnets, creating our own directions and responding to the magnetic fields of those around us.  The more electricity we put into an electromagnet, the stronger the magnetic field.  The stronger the magnetic field, the stronger the force that attracts and aligns, or repels (where appropriate).

Can you be that powerful?  Yes.  It’s a combination of your passion, dedication and drive; your insistence that everything, from top to bottom, be done up to your standards; the power of your vision, mission and commitment.

You don’t have to be loud, arrogant or pushy in order to have a powerful effect.  You do have to be determined, persevering, resilient and flexible.

Your culture – your standards, methods and systems – is a result of your energy; of what behavior you require.
The more powerful the electromagnetic field you create, the more the other leaders, managers and employees must become enthusiastically aligned and unswervingly committed, or else leave.

That means you must enforce and reinforce your standards of productivity and professional behavior.  Stop harassment, abuse and bullying at work.  Stop negativity, entitlements and backstabbing at work.  Success comes before personal agendas.  Require teamwork and productivity in the service of the customer and profits.

Rules and procedures are important but they’re secondary to tasks done correctly and successfully.

Systems, processes and pious phrases don’t make companies great; they’re just words on paper or wall-plaques.  They have no life or power on their own.  Even the best “Way” is neither self-perpetuating nor self-replicating.

The success of your “Way” is created by the energy of individual leaders, at all levels, who reinforce your magnetic field through organization, tools and effort.  Their determination is required to stop negativity, harassment and bullying.  Their determination is necessary to promote productivity.

If you lose these individual organizing centers or they become disoriented, your enterprise will lose alignment and soon fall apart.

Finding your "magnetic north" is only the first step.  The second step is being an electromagnetic leader.  The more your juice, the greater will be the resulting magnetism.

Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement an anti-bullying plan that fits the situation at work.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Create a workplace with no harassment, abuse or bullying

Sometimes, we have trouble deciding what strategy to use to increase our chances of a culture with no harassment, abuse or bullying so great people want to work, produce and get ahead - a culture of high attitudes and outstanding productivity. We know we can’t stand pat but still we hesitate.  We don’t want to waste our time or take foolish risks and, in the real world, there’s no way of getting all our ducks in a row.  Learning by trial and error sounds too brainless and fraught with danger.

There is another alternative – “The Systematic Method of Successive Approximations”.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see: Create a workplace with no harassment, abuse or bullying http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/2000/04/17/smallb4.html

Sounds formidable and daunting, but it’s not.  You may not have used the method yet to stop bullying at work, but you’ve already used and mastered it while learning the most difficult things you’ll ever learn - walking, running, talking, driving and even driving while listening to a motivational tape and eating and talking on your phone and obsessing on something life-threatening or totally useless, all at the same time while getting to your destination safely.

There is no “One-Right” action plan, but we all used the same basic 12-step strategy to learn to walk.  It will also work to stop bullying at work.

1. You knew what you wanted and needed.
2. Action counted.
3. There was no guarantee of success and you never even asked about one.
4. Pain didn’t stop you for long.
5. Fear didn’t stop you for long.
6. Ignorance didn’t stop you for long.
7. Embarrassment didn’t stop you; the opinions of negative, critical bullies didn’t stop you.
8. You imitated successful people and you “faked it” – you became an experimenter at work.
9. Questions or concerns about self-confidence, self-esteem and self-image didn’t matter.  You didn’t pay attention to self-doubt, self-bullying or negative internal voices.
10. You put yourself in favorable situations with your “antennae” out to increase your chances of success.  You ignored negativity, harassment and bullying.
11. Some people learned faster than others did but we all succeeded eventually.
12. The desired gains outweighed the necessary losses that always come with taking charge of your life.

Live life the way you learned how to walk.  It may seem difficult in your situation to bring all your desire, need, energy, focus, intelligence and experience to bear on making major changes but it’s the only way.  You’re not too young, too old, too dumb, too clumsy.  The world is not changing too rapidly.  Don’t listen to negativity and bullies.  Learn to walk or you’ll get stepped on.

Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement an anti-bullying plan that fits the situation at work.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

How to Stop Bullies at Work: Ten Tips to Recognize Them

“How can just one person create such deep wounds that it’s taken us five months to heal a workplace,” I was asked.  Many people have trouble admitting that someone can be the correct answer to, “How many negative, abusive, bullies does it take to destroy everyone’s productivity” or “How many rotten apples does it take to spoil a whole barrel” or “How many overlooked cancer cells does it take to start a fatal tumor?” To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see: How to Stop Bullies at Work: Ten Tips to Recognize Them

http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/2000/05/15/smallb5.html

Notice that when you nod your head in recognition of the “bad apples” you’ve known, we’re both denying many people’s fundamental assumptions that everyone is good and reasonable underneath; we can rehabilitate everyone; we’re supposed to care enough to keep trying and not remove them from work until we’re absolutely, objectively certain that they’re relentless, permanent bullies and we should give up.

Instead, we’re accepting that bullying and bad attitudes will spread and destroy the whole workplace.

I’m talking about the few employees (and bosses) who haven’t learned by the time they’re adults and who won’t be rehabilitated in the time and effort your team or organization can afford at work.  The pain and harm caused by those “bad apples” is the price you pay for ignoring the early warning signs and giving them too much time and too many chances

Top ten early warning signs of bullying, “bad apples” are:

1. They’re utterly convinced that they’re absolutely right about anything they think is important; their opinions, attitudes, interpretations, excuses, justifications, agendas are right; they can do exactly what they want at work because they’re absolutely right; problems are never their fault.
2. They’re totally focused on themselves; clueless and uncaring about what most of us consider appropriate, professional behavior and how other people will feel in response to their bullying.
3. They leave bossy, demanding, abusive notes insisting that what they want gets done, with no consideration for the other person’s schedules or deadlines.  They think their notes are polite.
4. They’re also oblivious to how the other person reacted to what they said, what the other person wanted and why, what the other person thought of them. Or they're hypersensitive, over-reactive bullies.
5. They don’t acknowledge the pain they cause and they defend themselves and their favorites ferociously.
6. They’re perfectionists; always negative and complaining; seeing things in right-or-wrong; making “to-do” lists with over 300 items. They feel victimized and eagerly blame others or “the system” at work.
7. They obsessively track or blow up little things, lose sight of what’s important; ignore what everyone else is upset about.
8. To flatter themselves, they only get the part of a message they agree with. Or in order to feel righteously indignant, they hear only the part of a message that will infuriate them.
9. They kiss up to those above and step on those below them.
10. They’re skilled at harassing, abusing and isolating people at work, organizing cliques to make war on their enemies, or finding scapegoats to direct the attention away from them.

They’re the 10% of the people you waste 90% of your time on.  If you think you’re the only one having these problems with them, check around and you’ll find that almost everyone else at work is also.  They spread their bullying around.

The problem is chronic; they don’t get it, they don’t change.  You’ll know you were right to remove them when everyone starts breathing deeply, smiling and walking uprightly again.  Act swiftly to protect yourself and the rest of your workplace.

Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement an anti-bullying plan that fits the situation at work.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.

Conflict-Avoidant Managers Don't Know How to Stop Bullying

If you have a consistent pattern of avoiding evaluations, criticism, and potential conflict at work; if you hope that problems will solve themselves if left alone; if you think that the best way to motivate all employees is to give constant praise and more benefits; if you won’t say, clearly and honestly, “That’s not good enough,” then you can’t be an effective manager. You’ll create a hostile workplace; you’ll never stop bullies and bullying.

To read the rest of this article from the Denver Business Journal, see: Conflict Avoidant Managers Don't Know How to Stop Bullying http://denver.bizjournals.com/denver/stories/2000/08/14/smallb4.html

“Conflict avoidant” or “conflict phobic” managers get less peace and more trouble than they hope for.  When you give up authority, standards and accountability you only make space for harassment, bullying and abuse at work to grow larger.  Professional behavior and productivity decrease, decent employees act out, pathological harassment and bullies (never satisfied by appeasement) take over and the best employees bail.

Two examples:

1. A manager who hated confrontation and conflict supervised a team for 15 years with no performance evaluations for professional staff, all discussions done individually behind closed doors, no public disagreements allowed and all major decisions made by consensus.

The results were inevitable: crucial plans were rarely implemented; two door-slamming, senior staff took control because other employees were afraid to protest; warring cliques formed; negativity, rumors, blame, abuse and scapegoating ran rampant; bullying escalated; turnover of both professional and support staff soared.

1. Another organization that prided itself on being caring and people-centered had not released an employee in 10 years. One employee, Rebecca, was brilliant and entertaining but was a mediocre performer who spent most of her time chatting with unproductive cronies. Her supervisor had never documented her poor performance and excessive socializing. In contrast, Grace had worked there only 6 months but had done a productive job that could have been well documented.

The supervisor preferred Grace and wanted Rebecca to leave. But, of course, Rebecca and her cronies used bullying tactics to stay and to force Grace to leave.  Why should a good producer work with managers and staff who accept dishonesty, slacking and mediocrity?

A consistent pattern of conflict avoidance is always backed by rationalizations, excuses and justifications.  Conflict avoidant managers are usually afraid of displeasing others. Actually, they’re afraid of the bullies while they ignore the pain and anger of the bullied targets.

Responsible adults don’t whine, “Why can’t we all just get along?”  They do something about it.  Leaders set the tone at work and make it happen.  If your prime directive is to get along and never confront anyone, stick to recreation sports and don’t go into business.

If you’re not sure how to evaluate; learn.  Learn to convert confrontation and conflict into discussion, and to apply the necessary accountability procedures routinely, fairly, firmly and matter-of-factly.

If you think it’s wrong to evaluate and be demanding or if you’re cowardly, then you’re not a manager.  You’ll never stop bullies or lead a high performance team, you’ll run your part of the organization into the ground and you’ll leave a really messy diaper for someone else to clean up.  You’re being disloyal to your company, your own career and the people who depend on you.

Stand up for high standards – set the tone and do the work.  Of course it’s hard - if it was easy, anyone could do it.

Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement an anti-bullying plan that fits the situation at work.  To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.