Overt harassment, bullying and abuse?

Physical violence including grabbing and pushing? Threats of violence to you, the children, your property, prized possessions or pets?

Yes

No

They make the rules; they control everything

…what you can do, where you can go, who you can be friends with? They know better? They talk you out of your feelings?

Yes

No

They push boundaries and argue endlessly?

They withhold approval and love if you don’t do what they want? You give up because most things aren’t worth the fight?

Yes

No

Their standards rule?

Your "no" isn't accepted as "no;" the Stealth Bully is always right and you’re always wrong? The Stealth Bully never apologizes? The Stealth Bully’s sense of humor is right and they aren’t abusing you, you’re merely too sensitive? Your issues generally don't get dealt with, the Stealth Bully’s are more important?

Yes

No

They control you with their disapproval, name-calling, demeaning putdowns, blame and guilt?

No matter what you do; you’re wrong or not good enough? You think your job is to please them so you’ll have a moment’s peace?

Yes

No

You’re afraid you’ll trigger a violent rage?

They control you with their hyper-sensitive, hurt feelings which lead to threats, explosions or “The Loud Silent Treatment?” You walk on eggshells? You’re told that you’re to blame if the Stealth Bully is angry? You feel emotionally blackmailed, intimidated and drained? They promise to change but soon revert?

Yes

No

You’re told you’re fat, ugly, poorly dressed, incompetent and helpless?

You wouldn’t be able to survive without the Stealth Bully?

Yes

No

They isolate you?

You’re not allowed to see other people, even your family and friends? They check your phone and computer? They’re insanely jealous and it’s your fault?

Yes

No

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