Overt Bullies

…right out there in public.

Temper tantrums (like children), out of control in public – physical explosions or verbal outbursts or the “Loud Silent Treatment”?

Misunderstand, blow everything up out of proportion – finger in face, mad, yelling, hostile, loud, aggressive, abrasive, argumentative, belligerent, hissy-fit, venting, chastising, scolding, personal name calling (“jerk, stupid, liar, unethical”), righteous, know-it-all?

Harsh remarks, put-downs, personal criticism? Talk down to people; make others feel bad, push sensitive places? Make overt, verbal, personal attacks in public or private?

Endlessly negative, gripe, complain or want perfection their way?

Escalate immediately or push either-or (win-lose, black-white, all-none) agendas instead of compromise or win-win solutions? Won’t take responsibility for solutions? Act as if you have 100% of the responsibility to communicate perfectly?

Go to extremes over minor things? Threaten to escalate action to alternative authority if wishes are not followed? Endlessly fight over every small thing? Threaten law suits or revenge or physical violence or damage to property?

Back down only if they have to – otherwise, they won’t stop? Never compromise? Make agreements and then violate the agreement? When you negotiate, you always compromise, adjust, change, and give; they never do? They push the new boundary?

Blame other people for their outbursts; it’s never their fault? Personal vendettas; need a scapegoat? They think they’re absolutely right; they have no doubts? After dealing with some of them, you distrust your perception and “feel crazy”?

Form cliques, mobs or gangs to back them up?

Won’t change their behavior no matter how much you reason, educate, explain, ask? Their behavior doesn’t change even though they might say “sorry” or stop one particular attack or ask for another chance?

Predators – pick on targets who are weak, isolated or won’t/can’t resist?

Often huge sick leave and turnover of many different types of people near them?

Cyberbullies

…using internet and phone/text to attack and to gather mobs, cliques.

Flaming emails, hate mail?

Sabotage, innuendo, rumor, accusation, lies?

Covert Bullies

…sneaky, manipulative, behind-the-scenes.

Tease, taunt, name-call – use someone as an emotional punching bag? Nasty, ugly, vicious, snide, cutting comments, personal put-downs, bring up past mistakes? Know best, brow-beat, debate, argue; tyrant, critical perfectionist, withhold approval, micro-manage with put downs? Queen/King Bee – smug, arrogant, self-centered, righteous, refuse to accept anything, right and righteous, my way or else?

Nasty jokes, cut downs; followed by a smile, “I was just kidding” or “You’re too sensitive” or “I didn’t mean anything bad” or “I was only having a little fun?” Laugh as if it’s a joke – pretend they’re innocent of bullying?

Passive-Aggressive – manipulate, triangulate, stimulate unhappiness and drama? Gossip, spread rumors, lies or innuendoes, or manipulate to get their way? Disparage, nit-pick, emotionally intimidate or blackmail? Throw gas on the flames, drive wedges between people and get other people to fight? Pushy, prying questions; collect and use secrets, spy, stalk; give insistent advice?

Act like the expert who knows better than anyone else? Collude with people in power? Ignore or minimize or speak sarcastically about other people’s concerns/issues/problems or make put-down, “editorial” gestures? Only their issues and agenda matter?

Create disrespectful, school yard cliques or gather “stooges.” Cut-out, exclude, isolate, back-stab (with a polite smile), bad-mouth, turn new people against a disliked target? Encourage others to voice opinions for them to magnify the severity of the situation?

Escalate issues to authorities without first addressing issues with individual responsible?

Back down only if they have to – otherwise, they won’t stop? Never compromise? Make agreements and then violate the agreement? When you negotiate, you always compromise, adjust, change, and give; they never do? They push the new boundary?

Blame other people for their outbursts; it’s never their fault? Act as if you have 100% of the responsibility to communicate perfectly?

Focus on trivial issues, distractions or problems that can’t be solved?

Personal Vendettas – sneaky, organized? Use the (nit-picky) rules to attack their targets and to defend themselves? Control-freaks, turf protectors?

Non-verbal, “editorial” comments at meetings – snort, roll eyes, snide remarks; quiet during meeting but attack afterward? Tamper with personal belongings or equipment?

Organizational “lawyers” – great debaters, antagonistic, relentless boundary pushers, do minimum, undercut authority/system? Relentlessly negative, critical, naysayer, impossible to please, complaints get attention?

“Professional Victims"

…gaining power by being hurt and angry.

Hypersensitive, fragile, spoiled brats, over-react, hysterical, “Chicken Little,” Drama Queen/King; get hurt feelings, cry, blame; use shame, guilt and then explosive anger?

Give the loud silent treatment? Get people to walk on egg shells around them or make their feelings (no one else’s feelings) the main concern? Turn everyone against someone because they hurt their feelings?

Always blame on others, endless excuses, little-no improvement? “I was just,” “They started it,” “Just my honest opinion,” “I didn’t know that was wrong,” while smirking?

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