We’ve all been targeted by bullies – at school, in relationships, at home and at work.  You may be a target, but you don’t have to be a victim. Let’s talk about how not to be a victim of bullying.

Victims don’t fight back successfully.  Targets fight back.  Choose not to be a victim!

What are signs of victims?

  1. Victims think bullying is their fault; they think they’ve done something wrong.  They think they deserve the bullying.
  2. Victims take hostility, harassment, bullying and abuse personally; they feel embarrassed, ashamed, guilty and scared.
  3. They try to ignore, appease, beg and bribe bullies; they can’t think of what else to do; they don’t see bullies as simply predators looking for easy prey.
  4. Victims feel helpless and hopeless; they cut themselves off from their own inner strength; they don’t stand up.
  5. Victims isolate themselves; they don’t get help that’s available.

What are the signs of targets who do not become victims?

  1. Targets see bullies as nasty, jerks; they know that bullying is the fault of bullies; they don’t take it personally; they maintain their self-esteem..
  2. Targets know they’re not really being picked on because they’re different; bullies bully because they’re bullies; they use the differences as their excuses and justifications.
  3. Targets try nice, peaceful methods at first but if those don’t stop the bully, targets push back in many ways – verbal, legal, physical – increasing in firmness.
  4. Targets have strong desire and will to resist; they have courage that gives them strength; they have determination, perseverance and resilience.
  5. Targets get help; they learn to get people on their side; they learn to create witnesses and defenders.

Powered by their courage, inner strength and grit, targets can think and plan effectively.  Then they can carry out their effective action plan with skill.

Stop complaining, stop whining, stop pouting: no more victim talk.  Don’t be a victim.  Choose.  It’s your life: be the hero of your life.

See: How Not To Be a Victim of Bullying http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNx-W9glnFg

Since all tactics depend on the situation, expert coaching by phone or Skype helps.  We can design a plan that fits you and your situation.  And build your will and skill to carry it out effectively.