What can you do if:
- Teachers, principals and school therapists are the bullies but they won’t admit it?
- Teachers, principals and school therapists minimize school bullying or won’t believe that your child is being bullied?
- Bosses won’t stop bullies in the workplace?
- The police won’t stop bullies at home?
The first step is always to document – that’s called “getting compelling evidence.”
But how? Modern technology puts getting evidence in the hands of everyone.
For example, as reported by the Huffington Post, “Stuart Chaifetz sent his 10-year-old son to New Jersey's Horace Mann Elementary School wearing a hidden audio recorder. The move came in reaction to accusations from the school that his son Akian was having ‘violent outbursts,’ including hitting his teacher and teacher's aide -- claims that Chaifetz claims are against his son's "sweet and non-violent" nature. Akian, who has Autism, returned with a tape containing hours of apparent verbal and emotional abuse from his classroom aide and teacher -- whom Chaifetz identifies as "Jodi" and "Kelly" -- a recording which his father later published on YouTube.”
“As the tape continues, the teacher and teacher's aide's behavior turns from inappropriate to cruel.”
Also, “This was the case for parents of a special needs student at Miami Trace Middle School in Ohio, who sent their daughter to school with a hidden tape recorder last fall after the girl repeatedly complained about teacher bullying. The revelation was shocking: the educators on the recording called the child lazy and dumb, and forced her to run on a treadmill with increasing speed.”
In those cases, the teachers were bullying the students. But the same method would be effective for gathering evidence about other kids who are bullies and for stopping bullies at work and at home.
It’s hard to ignore that kind of evidence, even for do-nothing principals who want to look the other way, who won’t stop bullying. Those negative, do-nothing principals are usually a major factor in suicides of victimized kids.
Those teachers and principals will need to be forced before they’ll do anything. You won’t make things better for your child by being a peacemaker. Begging, bribery, endless praise, appeasement, endless ‘second chances,’ unconditional love and the Golden Rule usually encourage more harassment, bullying and abuse. These incompetents may initiate processes but they won’t do the difficult work of getting results. They won’t stop emotional bullies or physical bullying.
The take-home message is always to give the responsible authorities a chance, but if they don't do their jobs to stop a pattern of school bullying, solve the problem yourself. Don't be a victim waiting forever for other people to protect you. Use your own power. Say “That’s enough!” Say “No!” Stopping bullies is more important than never using violence.
I’m not a lawyer. Check your state laws about what you’re allowed to do to get evidence in secret and what’s illegal.
- Get evidence.
- Get a lawyer.
- Get publicity.
- Get a law suit started.
For some examples, see the case studies in “How to Stop Bullies in Their Tracks” and “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids,” available fastest from this web site.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, expert coaching by phone or Skype helps. We can design a plan that fits you and your situation. And build your will and skill to carry it out effectively.