Ingrid felt her narcissistic, bullying, abusive father had ripped her soul out of her and left her chest feeling empty.  For years he’d taught her she was worthless and only he could make her feel whole.  Years of fear and panic, feeling empty and alone, were relived sporadically by his smile, his saying he adored her, she was his princess.  But these moments, as thrilling as they were, lasted only a few minutes before he spurned her again and the old terror and desperation gripped her once more.

After her father died, Ingrid grew to middle age having replaced him with a string of selfish, narcissistic boyfriends and ex-husbands.  She recognized her addiction to winning their moments of adoration and feeling full and whole once more.  Then they would be uncaring and brutal and she’d be back on the old, familiar treadmill.  The addiction to their adoration drove her to question herself and to accept their excuses; she was over reacting and to blame for their bullying behavior.

At long last she faced the real question for her life:
* Settle for a life of moments of adoration and peace with abusive narcissists who subsequently destroyed her confidence and self-esteem.
* Do the hard work to fill herself so she didn’t need the fix of instant adoration.  Instead, find someone who offered adult love, appreciation, kindness and respect.

Of course she had many fears and questions: Would she be turned on by another person who seemed good in a wonderful adult relationship?  Would she find someone or would she be alone?

Ingrid realized her father had not ripped her soul out of her.
Her Soul was still inside her, wanting to fill and heal her, wanting to direct her life to better love and more spiritual development.  She simply had to be braver and stronger than she’d ever been; she had to trust herself and move forward.  That was more important than staying the same old horrible way and settling for temporary highs that never satisfied and left her hurt and poor.

Simple and clear; just not easy.
Her only chance to find the love she really craved and was capable of returning, was to take the risk and do the hard work.

Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation.  The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to be the person you want to be is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:

  1. Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
  2. Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.

Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert counseling and coaching by phone or Skype.

AuthorBen Leichtling