Olive’s abusive, bullying, narcissistic parents always knew better than she did. She learned very early never to speak up. Her wishes were simply ignored or she was beaten physically and verbally for being selfish and prideful enough to voice her opinion in defiance of theirs. She was guilty of the worst sin – thinking she knew what was best for her.
They married her to a man who started where they left off. She must submit to his authority, values and wisdom. She could never convince him she was right. When she had evidence, he lied or changed the subject. As far as he was concerned, she was selfish; never loving or caring enough. She was not a good enough wife.
Beware of bullies and narcissists who know better than you do.
Kids must learn to trust their accurate sense of what’s going on and then to distrust their suspicions based on fear and wishful thinking. Bullies and narcissists try to destroy your inner sense of self; your inner Knowing that you see and hear what’s actually happening. They try to create self-doubt, to destroy your self-confidence, self-esteem and self-worth. They want you to think you’ll be all alone if you leave. They’re trying to convince you that resistance is futile.
Olive could never set boundaries.
No matter how logical and reasonable Olive was, no matter what evidence she offered, her parents and husband never gave in. They told her to take the “High Road,” which meant doing what they wanted. Whatever she demanded something, they simply ignored or manipulated her by agreeing but not doing what she wanted. They felt justified trampling on her boundaries. She just didn’t understand; they knew better than she did.
Trust your gut’s Knowing even if you can’t prove it in court; protect and defend yourself from their mind-control.
When we’re kids, we need people to feed us. One survival strategy is to duck and keep out of harm’s way as best we can. We accept their control in order to survive. Good idea.
We must keep our Spirit hidden and strong until we can get out of prison. When we’re adults we can escape. Then we must pit our own experience and wisdom against all of theirs. We must stand up in the face of all of them and say, “No.” We can escape from their cult, which was established on our fear and guilt; our distrust of our own feelings and Knowings.
Stop talking to bullies and narcissists and go where your voice is respected.
With narcissists and bullies you can never set boundaries through talking or threatening. End the torment by getting away. No matter how hard. No matter how long.
Only by clearing our personal space of bullies and narcissists can we fill our lives with people who respect and appreciate our voices. With them, no need to prove, defend and fight. Find and create your life with your true family; the family of your heart and Spirit.
Olive did and you can too.
Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation. The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to be the person you want to be is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert counseling and coaching by phone or Skype.