There are wonderful people on all sides of every kind of relationship we humans make. And there are sometimes toxic, narcissistic people on every side.
Four years after Jerry’s wife died he fell madly in love with Anne. Anne was almost Jerry’s age, comfortably off and Jerry felt alive and vital again.
He’d been despondent after his wife and best friend from childhood had died. Not even his grown children and his young grandchildren had brought the old spark and laughter back into his life. But now, he’d gladly give anything to make Anne happy. And she started asking for everything. He hesitated, but always gave it.
At first, his children were thrilled to see Jerry alive again and welcomed Anne with open arms, even though they’d loved their mother very much. But Anne was difficult to please and soon drove a wedge between Jerry and his family. She wouldn’t even let him visit them, with or without her.
Then, Anne wanted all the sentimental mementos from Jerry’s first marriage. She sold them or trashed them; she wouldn’t give any to Jerry’s children even though they asked and then pleaded. Then she took all the furniture and made Jerry buy new. Then his old friends and even his siblings and their families had to go. Of course, his children and grandchildren were cut out of his will; only she inherited anything.
What can Jerry’s children do?
Since Jerry went along with Anne, step-by-step, there wasn’t anything they could do. They begged and pleaded with their father but he always gave in to Anne. She always had reasons and excuses and he always allowed himself to be bullied and abused into submission. Rapidly she took control of his life, his money and all his possessions.
Shortly before Jerry died, he found out that Anne was comfortable because she’d married an older man and then inherited everything he had. But it was too late for him and his children. On his deathbed Anne admitted that she’d always wanted everything she could get her hands on. He’d be only another one in a long line of providers.
Why did Anne want it and why did Jerry allow it?
Psychologists could find reasons from her childhood why Anne’s greed, narcissism and manipulation were endless. Doesn’t matter. We’re not going to change her.
We could also find reasons from his childhood why Jerry abandoned every value he’d once stood for and even sacrificed his children and grandchildren on the altar of his slavish devotion to satisfying Anne. Doesn’t matter. He gave it all away.
Anne is richer for it but no one else is.
Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation. The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to be the person you want to be is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert counseling and coaching by phone or Skype.