Bullies want us walking on egg shells. That’s a favorite tactic of manipulators and control-freaks in order to get power, control and turf. They want us to give in because we’re afraid of the next explosion – whether it’s a vicious, nasty, abusive tirade or the loud silent treatment.
They want us trying to argue with them while they throw a temper tantrum or hissy fit. The more we argue, the less we win. They’re not rational. Their reasons aren’t really what’s wrong. We’ll never convince them they’re making a mountain out of a molehill.
They want us scared and on the defensive, afraid of what we’ll trigger. They are super-sensitive whenever it’s to their advantage. They want us to think it’s our fault because we pushed their trigger. They take no responsibility for throwing fits. They want us to bear the blame and guilt. We’re the bad person because we upset them. They want other people to rally around to protect poor them from the bad, insensitive person – us.
They claim “It’s just the way I am.” They want us to adjust our lives, lower our standards of polite, civil conversation, and give them what they want. Their hyper-sensitive tactic makes them “professional victims.”
It’s a good way they can avoid conversation and negotiations about what we want.
They want to scare and beat us into submission. They often use this tactic in public because they know we’ll give in rather than create a scene. They want us willing to give up everything to avoid the explosion.
They undercut legitimate authority (parents at home, supervisors at work) because they must be the unofficial center of power whenever they feel like it.
The more we walk on egg shells the more they’ll demand. Their appetite for power and control is never satisfied. The more fuel we throw on a fire, the more fuel it demands.
Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation. The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to be the person you want to be is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert counseling and coaching by phone or Skype.