It took years for Jane to accept that her reasons did not stop her bullying husband. In fact, they only helped him bully her.
He was relentless in questioning her reasons when she wanted to do anything he didn’t want her to do. If fact, she saw that he harassed, criticized and belittled her so he could control everything she did. He never stopped being sarcastic or arguing. He pointed out every mistake, every flaw in logic and even that she was silly in wanting what she wanted. She could never convince him she should be allowed to do what she wanted. She began to feel stupid and helpless, which was exactly what he wanted.
Eventually, she decided to face his bullying and abuse with an unassailable reason, “Because I want to,” or “Because I don’t.” When he attacked with “Why,” she simply repeated “Because I want to.” And she smiled with joy.
His feelings about her reasons didn’t matter anymore. She was no longer asking him for acceptance and permission.
That frustrated him terribly because she’d escaped his control. Eventually, when she saw that he wouldn’t accept her desires and wouldn’t stop attacking her, she divorced him. And she felt free and strong for the first time in years.
When you’re faced with a relentless bully who is always right, who is a clever debater, who always knows best, who will change the subject if you make a good point, who will argue until you give in and start walking on eggshells around him, stop giving the bully your reasons.
These bullies take your reasons as excuses to be battered down so they can control you.
Of course the same is true for bullying, controlling wives, parents, children and supposed friends.
The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to stop bullying is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert coaching by phone or Skype.