Yes, life can be unfair and painful. But deciding what’s worth time doing something about and how to deal with it, is what can make your future great or miserable. If there’s a fly in your soup or the wrong entrée was brought, don’t just grin and bear it. Get what you ordered, well prepared. But you don’t have to whine or be an obnoxious jerk about it.
To read the rest of this article from the Cincinnati Business Courier, see: No Whining Complainers: No More Victim Talk http://cincinnati.bizjournals.com/cincinnati/stories/2003/01/20/smallb5.html
Whining complainers come in typical forms and for obvious reasons. See the original article for details.
- Whining complainers try to get sympathy and free goodies, to be the center of attention, to protect themselves from consequences and to control other people.
- “Professional victims” can find a cloud behind every silver lining. Their lack of success is never their fault: it’s their genes, upbringing, bad luck, lack of support, previous poor decisions they can’t overcome, or powerful forces from outer space. They can get power by this form of bullying.
- After “Energy vampires” leave, you feel like you’ve been drained of a quart of energy. It’s hard to get back to work.
- “Dumpers” hurl so many problems on you that you need a shower. And it’s then easy for you to waste even more time, sharing the garbage with someone else.
- “Blamers” specialize in righteous indignation, anger, temper tantrums and explosive silences.
- “Self-flagellators” proudly exhibit their badges of guilt and shame. When you realize the exhibition doesn’t help them do better, you wonder whose benefit the virtuoso performance was for.
- “Professional critics” are never satisfied. But they’ve lost their sense of proportion. They don’t distinguish between inconvenience, annoyance, irritation and serious problems. They overreact, have no sense of which battles to fight or of political give-and-take and they never let anything rest; even problems can’t be solved.
Whining complainers live in a state of perpetual childhood, full of narcissism, greed and lust for power, isolated and avoiding responsibility for their problems and their futures. And they take that out by harassing coworkers.
Moods are catching. If you wallow in feeling sorry for yourself or if you’re habitually overwhelmed, panicked, discouraged or angry, everybody and everything suffers.
Whining complainers decrease morale, divide loyalties, increase sick leave and turn over, and destroy productivity. If you let them stay in your workplace they will sap its life‘s blood. Stand up for great attitudes and replace whining complainers with people whose passion for life and work pour out of them.
I’ve focused on whining complainers and critics in the workplace, but, of course, the same could be said about them in personal life – whether it’s your spouse, kids, family or friends.
You can focus on what’s wonderful and what gives your life meaning, value, richness and joy, or you can whine and complain.
After a recent presentation, one person said that he had changed his life: in order to have the future he wants, he just doesn’t have time to sulk, complain or look for sympathy. His first job is to practice keeping his spirit up while solving important problems. He also doesn’t have a lot of time to listen to losers. He chooses to be around winners who take things in stride.
It’s your life. You have the same choice.
Often, individuals need coaching and organizations need consulting to help them design and implement a plan that fits the situation. To get the help you need, call Ben at 1-877-828-5543.