Vera grew up being Cinderella in her family. She was the designated servant/slave. She was bullied and abused, emotionally manipulated and physically battered. Her parents were demanding, controlling narcissists. Vera’s sister had been selected for the role of Princess and she wallowed in it. She lied, manipulated and controlled Vera. She was the Petulant or the Demanding Princess.

Vera’s family cast one of her daughters in the Princess role.

After they’d gotten Vera to serve them, they lavished all their attention on that daughter and tried to force Vera’s other children to play the Cinderella roles. Of course they had the usual excuses and justifications: that daughter was the sensitive one (The Princess and the Pea story), she was needy, she was weak. None of that was true. They claimed the other children were the strong ones and didn’t care if they had to serve the Princess. None of that was true either.

By the time Vera was clear, strong and brave enough to rebel, it was too late.

Vera’s daughter, like Vera’s sister, jumped at the Princess role. She loved being the center of everything. She was sure she deserved it, it felt so good and she wasn’t going to give it up. She’d sold her Soul eagerly. When Vera started objecting openly, her daughter was already an adult and could threaten Vera by withholding her grandchildren.

Vera’s sister, the “helpful” aunt, sided with that daughter and encouraged her to torment Vera and to try to get the other children to side with her against Vera. It was two Princess against the servants.

The two Princesses forced the issue; Vera had to submit or she’d be responsible for destroying the family.

Vera realized there had always been two families. Growing up, the only family unity came when Vera was willing to play Cinderella. Now, the same dynamic was repeating. But now she knew the fault wasn’t hers; the Princesses and their courtiers had one hundred percent of the blame. She let go of her guilt; she wasn’t responsible. The people destroying a family worth having were her parents, her sister and that daughter.

They’d created a family Vera did not want to belong to.

Vera chose freedom.

The pain of gathering her other children and accepting the estrangement forced by the Princess and her Court was less than the pain of accepting a life of servitude and forcing her other children to do the same. So she made one loving family with the people who were willing to love each other tenderly as equals; not as masters and servants, Princesses and Cinderellas.

Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation. The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to be the person you want to be is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:

  1. Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.

  2. Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.

Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert counseling and coaching by phone or Skype.

AuthorBen Leichtling