Clara’s husband always found reasons to be needy or angry. No matter what she did, it was never good enough for him. And he was jealous whenever she was happy. He condemned her if she did something and condemned her if she didn’t.
He alternated between being an angry, vindictive little brat and a hurt little boy.
He said her job was to make him feel needed whenever he wanted, or be his whipping post when he wanted. When he blamed things on her, she was supposed to feel guilty and beg his forgiveness. His bad feelings and behavior, his bullying and abuse, were her fault. He was selfish and narcissistic; the center of the world.
At 55, he was still fighting a war against his rotten upbringing.
Of course he thought he was fine and Clara needed therapy to become a better wife. If Clara stayed, he’d continue fighting that old war but it would be waged on her body.
He wanted Clare to either submit or to fight back so he could batter her into submission.
He gained meaningless victories over her but he lost all the joy he could have had in life. And he wanted to suck or beat the joy out of her life also.
The only way Clare could win her own life was not to play his war games.
The same patterns are found in women who are narcissistic, adult brats and princesses.
Of course, there are many complications depending on your situation. The best way to learn how to take power in your life and to be the person you want to be is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching and counseling so you can:
- Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
- Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the life your spirit has always hungered for.
Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert counseling and coaching by phone or Skype.