Toxic parents and bullying husbands who act overtly are easy for everyone to recognize.  They’re abusive and controlling bullies in public.

But sneaky, manipulative bullies are harder to recognize.

  1. They make things up and they act like they’re absolutely certain they’re right.  You begin to question what you saw and heard.  You doubt yourself and lose confidence in your own perceptions.  You begin to think you’re dumb and crazy.  You lose self-esteem.
  2. To your family and friends, they tell lies about you and about what happened.  They have plausible sounding reasons and excuses for everything.  They’re so convincing and shrewd they get believed.  They get everyone to think you’re crazy or bad; they turn everyone against you. 

How do you know they’re doing it or they’ve done it again after they promised they wouldn’t?

  1. You sense the lies they tell you; you begin to think you’re crazy (again) because reality doesn’t match what they’re saying.  You’re exhausted and want to give up because they’re more determined and relentless.  You feel like a helpless victim.
  2. Other people call or write to scold or coerce you, or they withdraw or they start acting weird to you or around you.

What can you do to stop toxic parents and bullying husbands?

  1. Don’t debate or argue; don’t wait for their agreement or permission.  Tell the controlling liars that you’re going to believe yourself no matter what they say and you’ll act as if you know the truth.
  2. Tell other people not to believe anything those toxic bullies say but, instead, to talk to you immediately and directly.
  3. When you talk to other people, don’t try to prove you’re right; stand on your character and history with them.  They should know who tells the truth from their interactions with you versus those toxic bullies.
  4. Test other people.  If they believe the toxic bullies’ lies, you don’t want them in your life; if they give you advice to minimize, placate, appease, beg or bribe the bullies, you don’t want them in your life.  If they tell you that kindness and the Golden Rule will win over those toxic parents or spouses, stop talking with them.

The best way to stop lying, toxic parents and bullying spouses is to hire Dr. Ben for personalized coaching so you can:

  1. Develop the strength, courage, will and determination to be and to act your best resolutely, diligently and effectively.
  2. Develop a plan and master the skills necessary to create the bully-free life your spirit has always hungered for.

Since all tactics depend on the situation, call me at 1-877-8Bullies for expert coaching by phone or Skype.

AuthorBen Leichtling